I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
birth control should be required to get into college
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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