so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think i peed on brittanys purse
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
