I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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