He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
