He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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