Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
