How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
well you can't waste a boner
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
