No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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