She's JV to your varsity
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
