I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize