My room smells like vodka and shame
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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