Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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