i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
