so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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