yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Randomize
