We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
