No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
