i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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