I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my shit smells like andre
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just high enough for therapy.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
