Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
