Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
