Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
