"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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