"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
