I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize