Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
