My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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