dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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