I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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