She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
