i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
