But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
