1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
