whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
