I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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