I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
