No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we're chasing vodka with high fives
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
