if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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