I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
