I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
