kristin has been a bad kristin
he thought i was a dude.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
