Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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