Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
