He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
