Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he puts the penis in happiness.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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