He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize