i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
