Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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