Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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