Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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