suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
