i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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