One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
