dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
