pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
