bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
How external is "for external use only"?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
