she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
