yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
