Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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